【中文标题】为什么越来越多的中国单身人士在网络上寻找爱情？
【原文标题】Why More Chinese Singles Are Looking for Love Online
【登载媒体】时代周刊
【原文作者】Chengcheng Jiang
【原文链接】http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2055996,00.html
2011年2月4日，一家网络婚恋交友公司在北京地坛公园举办的相亲会。
32岁的公务员李堡说：“最麻烦的是真人和照片不一样，你在网上看到一个女孩，很喜欢她的面容。但是出来见面的时候，会发现她和网上的照片根本不一样。”
啊，现代社会的爱情。这位32岁的北京人有一份稳定的工作，有自己的房子，还有车，算是事业有成、稳步上升的阶层，他同时也是席卷中国的一件新鲜事物的参与者——网络婚恋。李说，加入婚恋交友网站Jiayuan.com，为他生活中一直不甚成功的一面提供了一个完美的解决方案。李说：“我工作总是很忙，社交圈子很小，又不好意思和自己的同事约会。而互联网让我进入了一个更广阔的人际圈子，有更多的选择。”
李堡是数百万通过网络婚恋来解决个人困境的中国人之一，中国的社会环境让人们承受着很大的压力来寻找配偶。中国的父母一般都期待他们的子女在30岁前可以成家。甚至已经有专门的词语来描述30来岁尚未成家的人：剩男和剩女。
不惜代价寻找配偶的压力因不断升高的离婚率而遭到谴责。根据民政部提供的数据，中国的离婚率在2010年达到高峰。大约200万对夫妇在去年办理了离婚手续，离婚率为千分之1.5。当然，与美国千分之5.2的离婚率来比较，还不算很高的比率，但中国的上升趋势很快。
数百万中国单身人士上网寻找爱情，尤其是男性，婚恋交友网络业务因此而迅猛发展。根据中国妇联和世纪佳缘的竞争对手Baihe.com所提供的数据，中国目前有1.8亿单身人士，其中一半都在网络上寻找爱情。在“独生子女”政策实施的三十年之后，对男性后代的青睐让中国男女性别比例成为119.45:100，单身男性的父母面临着巨大的竞争压力。根据中国社会科学院的数据，到2020年，适婚年龄的男性要比女性多出2400万。
这些数据意味着巨大的商机。根据预测，婚恋交友网站在去年吸引了300万付费客户，消费总额超过1.5亿美元。Jiayuan.com、Baihe.com和Zhenai.com等网站就像国外的交友网站一样，类似李堡这样的注册用户可以编辑自己的个人信息、浏览全国数千名有交友意愿的女性档案，并且在每月支付费用的情况下可以在线下约会钟意的对象。而且，这些网站还可以代替那些没有时间或者没有兴趣浏览那么多信息的注册会员安排约会。中国最大的婚恋交友网站之一Zhenai.com创始人李嵩说：“公司的业绩增长很快，我们期望今年的收入可以达到2到3亿人民币（3000万到4500万美元）。”李说，6个月的会员资格——费用超过北京平均收入水平的50％——可以让用户享受专业介绍人安排的约会，还可以得到他们的反馈和建议。“到目前为止，我们已经帮助超过200万会员建立了长期稳定的关系。”
婚恋交友网站不是唯一获取这块大蛋糕的玩家。26岁的吴嘉民“探戈”自封“专业把妹者”，他向那些渴望结识女性的男人教授他自己的婚恋技巧。参加课程的学生需要支付昂贵的费用，培训周期从三天到一个星期，内容包括课堂教学和实地演练。探戈说，生意实在好的不得了，“我不得不取消最新一门课程的广告计划，因为它实在太受欢迎了。”
课程的巨大成功并未让他吃惊，他认为，不断提高的富裕水平与30多岁单身人士的耻辱感相结合，让人们极度渴望寻找内心问题的答案。探戈说：“一个男人可以呼吸空气、有饭吃、有水喝，那么下一件事就是找一个女人。30多岁的男人愿意把他一半的积蓄——有时候甚至是全部积蓄——都给你，只要你能告诉他怎样才能找到女朋友。”
自从一年前在网站上注册之后，李堡与网上结识的女性经历了几次线下约会——“超过5次。”他害羞地说。但是他依然还在寻找，“我的确遇到了几个我希望进一步接触的女孩，但是我必须等待她们表态是不是也喜欢我。所以，简单地说，我还在寻找未来的妻子。”
原文：
Participants talk to each other during a matchmaking event held by an online dating company at Ditan Park in Beijing on Feb. 4, 2011
"It's the accuracy of the photos compared to real thing that's the biggest problem," says Power Li, a 32-year-old civil servant. "You see a girl on the website who you quite like the look of, but then when you ask her out you find they look nothing like their online photos."
Ah, modern love. With a steady career and his own house and car, the 32-year-old Beijinger is settled, successful, upwardly mobile and part of a new craze sweeping china — online dating. Li says his subscription to online dating site Jiayuan.com offers the perfect solution to the one area of his life where he has yet to find success. "I'm always busy at work, and my social circle is very small," Li says. "It would be too awkward to ask my colleagues out. So the internet offers a much broader circle of people, and many more choices."
Power is just one of millions of Chinese people who are turning to online dating as a solution to relationship woes in a society where the social pressure to find a partner can be oppressive. Chinese parents commonly expect their sons or daughters to be married by the time they're 30. There is even a word for those who are 'left on the shelf' in their thirties: shengnan and shengnv, literally a "left-over man" or "left-over woman."
The pressure to find a mate at all costs has been blamed for rocketing divorce rates, which reached a new peak in 2010. According to the Ministry of Civil Affairs, close to two million couples registered for divorce last year, or 1.5 divorces per one thousand people. It's still low compared to, say, the U.S., where there are 5.2 divorces per thousand, but the figure in China is rising fast.
Dating pressure is also driving a major boom in online dating, as millions of China's singletons log on to find love, particularly for men. According to research by the National Women's Union and Jiayuan's competitor Baihe.com, China currently has 180 million bachelors, up to half of whom are thought to be looking for love online. And after three decades of the 'one child policy', a societial bias towards male progenies has meant that for every 100 females there are 119.45 males, an imbalance that is driving competition for partners among males. According to the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, by 2020 there will be 24 million more men of marriage age than women.
Those numbers mean big business. It's estimated that online dating sites attracted three million paying customers last year, who collectively spent more than $150 million. Like their foreign counterparts, websites like Jiayuan.com, Baihe.com and Zhenai.com allow subscribers like Power to create online profiles, browse listings of thousands of potential partners around the country and attend offline mix-and-mingle events with like-minded singles for a monthly fee. For a little more, the websites offer targeted match-making services and will arrange dates for members without the time or inclination to browse through the multitudes of profiles of singles. "Revenues are rising fast. We expect to take in 200 to 300 million RMB ($30 to $45 million) this year," says Li Song, founder of Zhenai.com, one of China's three largest dating sites. Li says a six-month membership – more than half the average wage in Beijing — buys users the services of a professional matchmaker to arrange dates and provide feedback and advice to the client. "So far, we helped more than 2 million members find steady relationships," he claims.
But online dating websites are not the only players angling for a piece of this booming business. Chris "Tango" Wu, a 26 year-old self-styled "professional pick-up artist," spends his time teaching his many and varied pick-up tricks to single male students eager to learn how to meet women. His students pay a premium rate to attend Tango's intensive training sessions that last from 3 days to a full week and feature classroom-style lectures followed by practical experience 'in the field.' Business, says Tango, has never been better. "I had to take down my advertisement for my most recent class because it was so popular," Tango says.
That his services have been so successful came as no surprise to Tango, who sees rising standards of affluence, combined with the social stigma of being a single thirty-something, driving demand for creative solutions to problems of the heart. "When a man has enough food to eat, water to drink and air to breathe, the next thing he needs to find is a woman," Tango says. "A man in his 30s would be willing to pay you more than half of his savings —sometimes even his entire savings — if you can teach him how to get a girlfriend."
Since starting his online dating subscription almost a year ago, Power Li has gone out on a number of dates — "more than 5" he offers coyly — with women he met online. But, he says, he is still looking. "I did meet several girls that I thought I'd like to get to know better, but I have to wait for feedback from them to see if any of them liked me," he says. "So basically, I'm still searching for my future wife." |
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发表于 2011-5-3 13:36
发表于 2011-5-4 22:41
