【reddit网站】西方女性不肯和中国男人约会的4个蹩脚理由

woikuraki

http://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/12b6vu/four_lame_reasons_why_western_women_wont_date/

As a straight male, I have no opinion or interest either way.
But this article just smacks of a woman desperately trying to defend something just because she does it, when no-one really cares.
I just wasted 2 minutes of my life reading a lame article lamely dispelling lame "reasons". And now I've written this lame comment.
Lame.
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[–]beardslap 7 分/分 1 天 ago
And apparently women that aren't utterly enthralled by the Chinese way of doing things are 'lame'.
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[–]Whiskey_McSwiggens 16 分/分 1 天 ago
There are some valid reasons.
After living in china for a couple of years and being Chinese myself (born in china, grew up in America), I do feel like Chinese guys are more effeminate on average. It's true that you can't base everyone on stereotypes, but there are a lot of Chinese men that fit the stereotype.
Chinese guys are shy, this may be more true when approaching western women for relationships or dates. Most Chinese guys I have met all ask me how to approach foreigners in general. Imagine guys approaching women. I remember one guy telling me that he went to a western-filled bar during the weekend. He really wanted to talk to someone. Did he? No, he was too shy.
Tl,dr: many of these reasons are valid
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[–]TheMediumPanda 4 分/分 1 天 ago
Personally I've always found it awkward when someone came up to me to talk -both men and women-. I know there are many people and the cities are big but I find it off putting when someone asks for your phone number after 2 minutes in a sort of 'best friends 4ever' kind of way. Also, sometimes when I've given out my number it's most often ended up in never calling or calling every day for a week, asking to go drink tea, go to a bar or a park or something. I could wish that people approaching Westerners would be aware that most of us feel uncomfortable hanging out -even with good friends- 3-4 days in a row.
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[–]gruntle 0 分/分 21 小时 ago
Isn't it a truism that masculinity is repellent to the modern Western woman? It is responsible for the Patriarchy, oppression of women, wife-beating, the West's rape culture, and so on. Feminized men are a good thing.
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[–]M2JOHNSON 1 分/分 20 小时 ago*
Those seem like reasons masculinity should be repellent. Unfortunately it's more complicated. It's more like Patriarchy assimilated oppression of women into masculinity. The construction of femininity has a role in the subjugation of women as well. You're more likely to see people cherry-pick from genders than reject them outright. There are plenty of feminist women with relative disinterest in the deconstruction of gender, as well as women in ignorance of feminism. The term "feminized" isn't used in this blog-thing to denote that Chinese men are feminist (there's a Chinese patriarchy too), but that they act in comparative accordance with Western female gendering.
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[–]gruntle 1 分/分 17 小时 ago
If men were feminized, they'd be MORE attractive to women, not less. Yet Western women claim Chinese men are LESS attractive because they are more like women. Contradiction. A case of do as I say, not as I do?
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[–]Uberche⌂ Vancouver ✈ Beijing 7 分/分 1 天 ago
The only one that was "lame" was #2 as it's silly. But the other three are just personal preference and to call it lame is just idiotic. Some girls don't like the look of Chinese guys, some love it. Some love foreigners, some don't. who the hell cares?
As well the reason I hear the most for not wanting to date Chinese guys is none of the above, it's mostly due to the traditional ideas of most Chinese guys.
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[–]Muffin-TopCalifornia ✈ Beijing 7 分/分 1 天 ago*
Standards of attraction vary for different cultures. I think it's not "lame" if you don't find Chinese dudes attractive, you have such different standards.
I remember looking this up years ago when the same topic came up among friends.
There's a beauty pageant for dudes called Mister World. This is the American candidate, the Australian candidate.
And here's Mr. China. I'll throw in Mr. Singapore for good measure.
edit: Click on the gallery tab.
These are all supposed to be very attractive men, but they are attractive by different cultural standards. Growing up in different environments, we are conditioned by the media etc. about what hotness is and how to play the game of love. Can't help it if you prefer your dude to look good without a shirt.
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[–]loller⌂ 魔多 ✈ 上海 3 分/分 1 天 ago
Neither the Aussie or American profiles mentioned dragons of any sort, so they immediately lose my vote.
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[–]kanada_kid 3 分/分 1 天 ago
Jesus christ I know one of the contestants...
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[–]manwithoutaguitar荷兰 ✈ 上海 9 分/分 1 天 ago
The only thing that is lame is this article, god I hate that word. What does she mean it is not proven that Asian men have smaller penises? Are the condoms here smaller because their penises are bigger? Chinese men are more shy than Western men, at least be honest and mention they are more afraid of losing face.
If you are trying to say its 'lame' to rule out 600 million people because bla bla bla" then I agree.
By the way, I find most Chinese women really unattractive, and still I have a Chinese girlfriend.
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[–]ForeverAProletariat 0 分/分 23 小时 ago
No, there's actually no penis size by race. Most people just watch U.S. White porn and compare it to Japanese porn and just say Asian guys have small dicks. If you look at any doctor measured results there is no evidence of penis size by race and even for height it's only a very slight correlation.
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[–]TheDark1 0 分/分 22 小时 ago
OK, lets put this to bed, so to speak.
The correlation is not race=penis size, it is height=penis size. A six foot guy should be pacing 6 inches, a 5 foot guy should be packing 5 inches. Same way his hands, ears, feet, knees, kidneys and teeth are bigger.
Chinese guys tend to be shorter than westerners. Average height of a man in Australia is 1.75 or 1.78 (even with a lot of Chinese and Vietnamese dragging it down. I would estimate the average height of Anglo men to be around 1.8) depending on which survey is more accurate. Average height of Chinese men is either 1.7 or 1.71 depending on which survey is more accurate. 10 cm is more than 5% of the height of an adult male. So Chinese dongs would theoretically be 5% smaller. That sounds like a trifling amount, but make a condom 5 percent narrower and it makes a big difference...
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[–]ForeverAProletariat 1 分/分 21 小时 ago
The correlation is not race=penis size, it is height=penis size. A six foot guy should be pacing 6 inches, a 5 foot guy should be packing 5 inches. Same way his hands, ears, feet, knees, kidneys and teeth are bigger.
Does NOT exist. Go ahead and look it up right now.
Also do you think that's seriously how it works? Haha... midget porn.
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[–]TheDark1 1 分/分 20 小时 ago
Firstly, curse you for what google must think of me now. Secondly, it is bullshit. People are so damn sensitive and defensive about penis size. Head size / height correlation? Check. Hand/size/ height correlation? Check. Penis size / height correlation? FUCK YOU MAN, MY MUM SAYS I'M NORMAL!
midget porn.
Midgets are outliers. Don't bring midgets into this.
I am not saying that every short guy has a small dong, or that every tall guy has a big one, but there must be some correlation.
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[–]ForeverAProletariat 1 分/分 1 小时 ago
There isn't. Why do you assume there is? EVEN in online polls where everybody bullshits there is only a slight correlation.
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[–]Fanta089 0 分/分 22 小时 ago
there actually has been scientifici research in this and they 100% dissagree with what you just stated .. go to google.com and look for the results of this study .. it is very elaborate and has country per country averages
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[–]ForeverAProletariat 3 分/分 21 小时 ago
I've seen every single study actually. I also always bring it up when a redditor makes the claim. Usually it's results from online polling OR different measuring methodologies. Often a doctor just says here, measure your dick and tell me the results. Biggest difference comes from measuring at the base and pushing it into your pelvis which I believe a lot of people do.
A lifestyles study where nurses measured men that self selected at a beach in Cancun (mostly white kids) showed that the average length was only 5.8 inches.
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[–]M2JOHNSON 6 分/分 1 天 ago
5 - Whispy Moustaches
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[–]Whiskey_McSwiggens 8 分/分 1 天 ago
5.1 - that one long tangled hair coming out of moles
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[–]flmngarrowNY ✈ BJ ✈ NY 7 分/分 1 天 ago
The use of the word "lame" in this article was a turn-off for me. In addition, I think that saying that, on the whole, you don't find Chinese men attractive is a perfectly valid opinion. Perhaps you don't find a certain type of bone structure or other genetically determined and racially correlated feature attractive. Who knows why we find people attractive, but sometimes people have a type and that happens not to match the physical characteristics normally found in Chinese men. You can't just label a person "lame" for who they happen to find sexy.
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[–]loller⌂ 魔多 ✈ 上海 1 分/分 1 天 ago
No idea who Godfrey Gao is, but the majority of Chinese men, or most men in general, do not look like him. I also can't stand lame cop-outs like saying "It's just their culture" as a reason for being perceived as shy.
Claiming that every one believes that Chinese men are effeminate based on Hollywood stereotypes is also ridiculous. That might explain the assumptions of those that live in an area with no East Asians, but one walk outside (especially in Shanghai) can demonstrate how effeminate men seem to be. It's not just how they dress, or the mannerisms that are often perceived as gay (hanging all over each other and holding hands), it's the difference in perception that's at-odds.
I've met many Chinese guys who consider themselves to be 很MAN. They think passing out cigarettes while resting their arm over their friend's shoulder, and their friend holding that hand, is just two buddies having a no homo gay 'ol time. That's super. I'm far past the point where I think this is gay in any way, but I also don't view it as manly.
I view them as childish, neotonous traits; characteristics that are very prevalent in East Asian cultures, and even sought after (sā jiāo, subservience, etc) by people of all ages. Japan especially.
Just because you've found someone who is the opposite of these, doesn't mean they represent the majority. If that were the case, then you'd see a lot more than the occasional quirky redhead girl (11 out of 14 and going strong!) dating the countryside guy from Hebei.
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[–]Fanta089 3 分/分 1 天 ago
so to proof that Chinese men can be attractive you add a pic of a very very western looking guy? with moustache and all?? I think if all chinese men looked like that pic a whole lot of western women would be VERY interested .
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[–]loller⌂ 魔多 ✈ 上海 0 分/分 1 天 ago
Yeah, thank god they don't all look like that.
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[–]TheDark1 0 分/分 22 小时 ago
Hehe, most of my students have moustaches! Or at least, they have a bumfluff line that they never shave.
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[–]Aussiemoo⌂ Melbourne ✈ Shanghai 4 分/分 1 天 ago
Effeminate and masculine are relative terms. If you're used to having your men big, hairy, and outgoing (in a bar) then a Chinese man may legimately seem effeminate to you. That said, plenty of girls go for effeminate, especially in Japan and China, it's the local fad. At the end of the day it will always be up to the guy to win the girl, if she doesn't like him, then he's not trying hard enough to be a type she likes. Asian guys go for the asian girls, they dont try to make themselves appeal to foreign tastes.
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[–]Whiskey_McSwiggens 1 分/分 1 天 ago
also, many chinese guys even ones that live abroad have parents that are too traditional to accept them bringing home a girl that's not ethnically chinese. i know a lot of chinese-americans where i'm from that have families like this. it's probably worse for chinese guys in china.
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[–]looozie 3 分/分 1 天 ago
Decent article. Personally I find it rather amusing how buttmad the expat girls get here because so many of the expat dudes are busy with Chinese girls, but they refuse to involve themselves with Chinese guys.
Sure, they're entitled to be attracted to whomever they're attracted to, but it's pretty obvious to me that this is largely a case wherein which they're simply unwilling to look beyond the social programming they've been fed regarding Asian men all of their lives, and that is seriously lame.
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[–]Dimeron 2 分/分 18 小时 ago*
Just going by this thread alone, I don't think it is the female half of the expats who are getting buttmad.
There are a lot more male expat than there are female on reddit, the vocal ones anyways.
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[–]looozie 2 分/分 17 小时 ago
It is quite interesting how many males (I assume) are jumping in to defend expat ladies' paltry reasons for refusing to date Chinese men. I have a few theories as to why this might be so, and none of them reflect expat men very well.
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[–]catsrus12 1 分/分 17 小时 ago
Do tell.
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[–]montereybay 1 分/分 1 天 ago
This is a battle that cannot be won. Stop trying people.
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[–]schluecker 2 分/分 1 天 ago
I'm not saying that Western women can't be total snobs, because they most certainly can be. Also, their reasons for not dating Chinese men might be trivial/vain, but it's simply their opinion. Who is the author to tell them how to think and feel. Attraction isn't a logical thing, you can't talk sense into attraction. That's just the way it is. The author of this website is obviously oblivious to how human beings work.
lol waste of time don't read!
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[–]loller⌂ 魔多 ✈ 上海 2 分/分 1 天 ago
Attraction can be explained. People who can't explain their attraction are not self-aware enough. There may be some aspects that are so buried or ingrained that it would be difficult to place into words, but saying it's too abstract is a cop-out. There are very clear reasons for attraction.
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[–]schluecker 1 分/分 1 天 ago
Well, in that case. Western women clearly aren't attracted to Chinese men.
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[–]cyborg_selkie我住在深圳. 2 分/分 1 天 ago
There are definitely attractive Chinese men. They generally don't actively date foreigners in the same way Chinese women do. If foreign women were bombarded with hotties in the same way foreign men were, there would be fewer foreign women with the sentiments that the blogger is complaining about. The women I have known who have dated Chinese men were pretty into Chinese culture and committed to learning the language, where I know foreign men with Chinese girlfriends who didn't make that much of an effort. Part of this could be due to the fact that in my experience, Chinese women are more likely to speak English than Chinese men.
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[–]TheDark1 1 分/分 22 小时 ago
4 Legitimate reasons why Western women won't date Chinese men:
Marry him, marry his mother. Look forward to years of being controlled by your new family as they whisper in your husband's ear! Think you are choosing your baby's name? ha!
Who like adventure anyway? Most Chinese men are incredibly conservative in almost every facet of life. Luckily they make up for it by skulling baijiu to remove their inhibitions for the 2 hours before they KO on the couch.
Romance? What is romance? Chinese men are incredibly sensitive and romantic. Until they get married. After that, they often display romantic tendencies towards their secretaries, or KTV girls, or whatever. Chinese guys are serial adulterers and do not understand why it is wrong.
There are so many men in the world. So maybe you can get around these things. Good for you! But seriously, in a huge crowded market, Chinese men are clearly not the standout product. Why don't Western girls marry Chinese men? Because there are better options out there. There is nothing inherently wrong with a Kia, but most people would rather drive a BMW, or at least a Toyota.
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[–]2orangey4crowsfrom Dublin to Beijing 2 分/分 1 天 ago*
My foreign female friends who tried dating Chinese men say they wouldn't do it again because the Chinese men treated them badly, e.g. the girl had to act submissive and "unequal", had to earn less money than him, no foreplay, etc.
This is just what they told me. Personally I don't find Chinese women attractive (too childlike) so I'm probably lame.
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[–]TheDark1 0 分/分 22 小时 ago
Personally I don't find Chinese women attractive (too childlike) so I'm probably lame.
I think the word you mean is childish. If she has boobs and hips she is not childlike.
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[–]2orangey4crowsfrom Dublin to Beijing 1 分/分 20 小时 ago
How many Chinese women have big boobs and hips? :)
I meant their personalities. Tantrums, teddy bears, etc.
Of course I know there are plenty of big boobed, highly mature Chinese women, but they are the minority.
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[–]courteous_coitus 0 分/分 23 小时 ago
What a terrible article.
First of all, although a woman may tend to group Chinese men into stereotypes, I am sure that if an gregarious, masculine, attractive Chinese man with a big dong came into their lives, they would be tempted to indulge.
The fact of the matter is that most Chinese men would fit the stereotype. There are more, too. How many Chinese men do you know that don't do at least one of the following:
*smoke
*commit adultery
*sleep with hookers
*hit their girlfriends/wives (in public, no less)
*maintain excellent personal hygiene
*speak unnecessarily loudly
I'll stop there. I know I may be coming across as racist, but I telling you what I see day in and day out while living her in China.
That said, things are changing. There's a lot of big dudes out there now (with presumably big shlongs). Also, younger generations are learning to be more respectful towards women. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if we saw more Chinese man+foreign woman couples.
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[–]ForeverAProletariat 1 分/分 23 小时 ago
Only slight correlation between height and penis length. It's like .51 or something like that.
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[–]courteous_coitus 1 分/分 23 小时 ago
Really? Well then...the more you know! :-)
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[–]hiroglifix -1 分/分 23 小时 ago
I've never looked at another man's tackle in public before but the other day in the changing room at the swimming pool I realised that they were definitely peeking at mine so I thought "what the heck" and took a peek. Yes, it is confirmed, they really do have tiny equipment, a big bush of hair with a little worm hanging on the front.
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[–]TheDark1 0 分/分 22 小时 ago
Res tagged" Looks at dongs in public baths".
TBH, it is said (I don't know) that flaccid and erect sizes do not correlate so this is erroneous (not erogenous). I think it is the height thing that makes the difference.

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