【09.06.15 新闻周刊】爱上我，爱上我的银行账户

三花小猫

【中文标题】爱上我，爱上我的银行账户       一本新书询问女人到底是否应该为了钱结婚
【原文标题】Love Me, Love My Bank Account    A new book asks whether women should marry for money after all.
【登载媒体】华盛顿邮报

【来源地址】 http://www.newsweek.com/id/202008

【译    者】三花小猫

【翻译方式】人工
【声    明】译文版权归AC及译者所有，转载请注明来源

【原文库链接】http://bbs.m4.cn/thread-173646-1-1.html

【译文】

"It's as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one." Some elderly aunt probably offered that advice at some point and you probably dismissed it. You vowed to marry only when you found The One, and his bank account would not be a factor. That's certainly the prevailing view of marriage, American style, in 2009. It's supposed to be a love match between two people who somehow sense that they are meant to be together forever.

“爱上一个富人比爱上一个穷人容易。”部分年长的女人可能会提出这样的忠告，你也可能对此表示不屑。你嫁给他是因为他就是那个人，而不会去考虑他的银行账户。这确实是2009年当下最普遍的美国式婚姻观。这应该是两个人之间爱的结合，他们认定彼此会永远在一起。

Admiring her intended's bottom line (the financial one, that is) automatically makes a woman a gold digger. Even the late Anna Nicole Smith, no rocket scientist, understood that being accused of marrying just for money was an insult. She married oil tycoon Howard Marshall Smith when he was 89 and she was 26. "It just so happens," she once said, "that I get turned on by liver spots."

一个女人重视她计划中的底线（也就是金融底线）自动让她变成一个掘金者。即使是晚期脱去火箭科学家的名号之后的安娜妮可史密斯，都明白被指控为钱结婚是一种侮辱。她26岁时嫁给了89岁的石油大亨霍华德马歇尔史密斯。“很多人都这么说，”她说，“我真的是火冒三丈”

In June, the prime month for weddings, it may seem heretical to suggest that romantic love is not the only requirement for a successful marriage. But that's what the authors of a provocative new book advocate. In Smart Girls Marry Money, Elizabeth Ford, a news producer, and Daniela Drake, a physician, argue that despite the gains women have made in the last few decades, we still earn considerably less than men (especially if we are mothers). A husband's paycheck is still critical. "We gals just haven't come far enough or fast enough," they say. "We know it's important to take the long view of things, but as we've heard said, in the long view, we'll all be dead."

六月是举行婚礼的最好季节，罗曼蒂克的爱情并不是成功婚姻的唯一要求的建议可能听起来比较异类。但是，这也正是作者的新书所宣传挑战的。在聪明的女孩嫁给钱一书中，新闻工作者伊丽莎白福特和医生丹尼尔·德雷克争辩说，尽管在过去的几十年中女性收入越来越多，但是依然比男性少很多（尤其是做了母亲之后）。丈夫的收入依然相当重要，“我们还没有达到一定程度或者前进的还不够快，”她们说，“我们知道目光放长远很重要，但是正如我们所听到的一样，长远来看，我们都会死。”

Then there's divorce. Ford and Drake say that since women suffer economically much more than men when they get divorced, snagging a good provider is ultimately critical to an equitable settlement. And if current statistics hold, half of new couples are likely to eventually split up. Given that depressing reality, Ford and Drake say that a husband's earning power is a more important indicator of a woman's future happiness than his cute smile. "If the marriage crashes," they write, "it's the women who are exposed to an extremely high risk of poverty." They urge their readers to look for a Mr. Right "who just happens to be Mr. Rich."

然后是离婚。福特和德雷克说由于离婚时女性比男性更容易陷入经济困难，勾住一个好的可以养家的人是最重公平解决问题的关键。如果目前的统计数据表明一半的夫妻可能会最终分手。鉴于这种令人沮丧的现实，福特和德雷克说，丈夫的收入能力是比外表更为重要的指标，去给一个女人幸福的未来。“如果婚姻垮了，”他们写道，“女性陷入贫困的几率会更大。”他们向读者争论说女性需要找一个“Mr. Right”同时也是“Mr. Rich（有钱人）。”

While we're not quite ready to give up on the romantic ideal, the book did get us thinking about why a woman chooses a particular mate. As Ford and Drake point out, romantic love is a relatively new concept. Throughout most of the last 10,000 years, couples got together for economic reasons or for duty to their family. And much of the time, it was the families who arranged the unions. The idea of a bride and groom actually choosing to be together was considered disruptive, says anthropologist Helen Fisher in her book Why We Love. "This mercurial force could lead to suicide or homicide," she writes. "Even worse, it could upset the delicate web of social ties."

虽然我们并不准备放弃对浪漫的理想，这本书也让我们思考为什么一个女人选择这个特定的伴侣。正如福特和德雷克指出的，浪漫的爱情是一个相对比较新的概念。在过去一万年的大部分时间里，夫妻由于经济原因或者家族使命结合在一起。很多时候，是家族为他们选择的婚姻。新娘和新郎自主选择在一起的想法实际上被认为是破坏性的，人类学家海伦费希尔在她的书我们为什么爱里面说。

Arranged marriages are still popular in many cultures, and there are some indications that the appeal of these unions might be catching on, even in 21st-century America. Both Fox and CBS are reportedly developing reality shows based on the concept. In the Fox version, called I Married a Stranger, friends and family select a spouse from a pool chosen by producers. The CBS show, Arranged Marriage, tracks one couple through the process, while Fox will feature a different couple each week. Perhaps that's a logical next step when you consider the fact that the so-called love matches on shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have rarely led to long-term relationships, much less the altar.

包办婚姻仍然在许多文化中流行，并有一些迹象表明，即使是在21世纪的美国，这种结合的吸引力可能会依然流行。福克斯和哥伦比亚广播公司都在致力发展基于此概念上的生活类节目。福克斯的节目名字是：我嫁给陌生人，即朋友和家人从制作者提供的选择里面选一个配偶。哥伦比亚广播公司的节目就叫包办婚姻，通过节目追踪一对夫妇，两者的区别是福克斯每周采用不同的夫妇。也许这个确实合乎逻辑，但是当你考虑一个事实，也就是这个逻辑下一步，所谓的情侣配对节目，比如说单身男女，比去祭坛祈祷更难促成他们的长期情侣关系。

A marriage based on more practical considerations can ultimately become a loving one. But in the past, that didn't really matter. As long as a couple fulfilled their obligation by staying together, one partner (usually the male) could look elsewhere for affection. Today we place higher demands on marriage. Spouses are supposed to be true to each forever (and with increased life expectancies, that can mean 50 or 60 years for the lucky ones who don't divorce). So the choice we make in our mid-20s (the average age of first marriages in America) has to be a pretty smart one.

基于实际考虑后的婚姻最终可以成为爱的婚姻。但是在过去，这个根本无所谓。只要夫妻履行了他们在一起的义务，一方（通常是男性）可能去别处寻找感情。现在我们对婚姻有着更高的要求。夫妻要对彼此永远忠诚（并且随着寿命的增加，这意味着如果幸运的没有离婚的话，两个人要在一起50到60年之久）。所以我们在20多岁（美国人第一次结婚的平均年龄）时所做的决定必须明智。

How do we decide? There's a lot of research on the subject, and what scientists have found goes a long way toward explaining the current high divorce rate. In her fascinating book, Fisher says timing is a huge factor. You are more likely to feel that you are "in love" if you are already emotionally aroused. That can be caused by lots of things—suffering through a difficult experience like moving to a new city or recovering from a failed relationship, for example. Once you are in that emotional state, proximity helps. It's a little like the plot of A Midsummer Night's Dream, where a little love juice sprinkled in the eyes (the metaphorical equivalent of emotional arousal) makes someone inclined to adore the first person he or she spots.

我们怎样决定呢？关于这个话题有很多的调查研究，科学家的发现再解释目前的高离婚率起了很大作用。在她这本精彩的书里，费希尔时间是一个很大的因素。当你的开始情绪化的时候，你会更有可能认为你已经“陷入爱情。”引起这个的因素很多—遭受一次困难的经历，比如说搬到一个新的城市，从一次失败的恋情中走出。一旦你处于情绪状态中，去接近（你的目标—译者加）会有助于你。这有点像谋仲夏夜之梦里面的计谋，一点点洒在眼睛上的爱情的果汁（隐喻情绪激发）会使某人倾向于爱慕她或她认识的第一人。

Despite the conventional wisdom that opposites attract, Fisher says that we generally marry people who are very much like us, who share the same ethnic, social, religious, educational and economic background. And people who have the same level of physical attractiveness and intelligence, as well as similar values, interests and social and emotional skills. Since some of these traits (such as intelligence and social skills) are influenced by DNA, scientists think that at least a portion of the attraction we feel is genetically driven. We seek similar genetic types.

尽管传统的看法是异性相吸，费希尔说，一般来说，我们要结婚的对象和自己相似，共享同一民族，社会，宗教，教育和经济背景。并且用友通要的外表和智力，相同的价值观，兴趣，社交和情感技能。由于某些特征（比如说智力和社交技能）受DNA影响，科学家们认为至少部分我们感觉到的吸引力是基因驱使。我们在寻求类似的遗传类型。

Beyond these characteristics, women and men seek different things, Fisher says. For example, men are attracted by facial and body symmetry. Evolutionary biologists say this preference has evolved because women with these characteristics are more likely to bear healthy children, and propagating the species is what we're all about. Women tend to be attracted by a man's status in the world. That can express itself in many ways—intelligence, a self-confident personality, even height. Women also appear to be hard-wired to look for men who have strong cheekbones and jaws—traits associated with testosterone.

除这些特征之外，女性和男性也寻求不同的东西，费希尔说。举个例子说，男人被外貌和身体的对称性所吸引。进化生物学家说这个偏好的形成是因为具有这些特点的妇女更有可能生育出健康的儿童，繁衍物种正是我们所要的。女性往往被男性在的社会地位所吸引。这可以从多方面来理解，自信，甚至身高。女性似乎也天生寻找拥有高大的颧骨和颌骨的男人—与睾酮有关的特征。

In the last couple of centuries, as women have gained more financial and legal autonomy, the idea of romantic love has played a greater role in the choice. That's reinforced by popular culture, which celebrates the idea of soulmates miraculously finding each other. As women have been able to earn more, researchers have found that the importance of a man's earning power in this equation appears to have declined somewhat. In their own admittedly unscientific survey, Ford and Drake say they found the same thing: "Our survey of women in their twenties revealed that most have no preference for a man with money . . . Some girls even said they would go for a subordinate 'if he was cute'." For lower-income women, though, money is still critical. One recent study of single mothers, for example, concluded that many would have married the father of their children—if he'd had a job. But a man without a paycheck? No way. Many studies have also shown that couples fight more about money than about any other single issue (including sex or how to raise the kids), and that's even more true in times of economic difficulty, like now.

在过去的几个世纪里，随着妇女获得更多的财政和法律上的独立，浪漫爱情的思想在选择中占据了更重要的位置。同时被流行文化加强，即颂扬灵魂伴侣可以奇迹般地找到对方的思想。由于妇女可以赚得更多，研究人员发现，在这一等式中，男性赚钱能力的重要性似乎已经有所下降。在他们各自所承认的非科学性调查中，福特和德雷克说，她们发现同样的事情：“我们对20-29岁女性的调查显示很多人对于有钱男士没有偏爱…有些女孩甚至说她们会找下属‘如果他很帅的话。’”然而对于低收入女性来说，前依然是很重要的。比如，一项最近对单身妈妈的调查总结道，很多人会和带小孩的父亲结婚—如果他有工作。但是如果没有收入？不可能。许多研究还表明，比其他任何的问题（包括性或如何抚养孩子，夫妻之间更容易为了钱而起争执），而且在经济困难时期更加是这样，正如现在。

Ideally, of course, we would all marry men who keep our hearts and our bank accounts overflowing with joy. If that describes your marriage, great. If not, Ford and Drake's advice might be worth listening to—as an antidote to all the overly sentimental views of marriage that surround us. "Falling in love does feel good," they say, "but the problems arise when we make it our number one priority." That's probably not a message June brides want to hear right now, but at least a few will probably wish they had once the honeymoon's over.

理想状态下，当然，我们可以和能让我们的心和银行账户都满意的男人结婚。如果这就是你的婚姻，太好了。如果不是，福特和德雷克的建议可能值得一听—作为对抗对我们周围的婚姻所有的过于感伤的意见。“陷入爱情确实感觉很美好，”他们说，“但是当我们把它放在第一位的时候问题出现了。”这也许不是六月份的新娘们现在想听到的信息，但一旦蜜月结束，至少有几个可能会希望听到。

solidsnake

嗯……感谢楼主翻译，不过这篇文章对我压力实在很大啊……