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本帖最后由 woikuraki 于 2012-3-31 15:31 编辑
【中文标题】加拿大永远的好朋友 － 中国！
【原文标题】Canada's New BFF: China!
【登载媒体】赫芬顿邮报
【原文作者】Yoni Goldstein
【原文链接】http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/yoni-goldstein/china-harper_b_1267491.html
找到一个新朋友是人一生中的幸事。发现另外一个人与你有相同的追求、愿望、背景、兴趣、思想和信念，是多么美妙的事情啊，这同时可以让你有所受益——你现在可以抛弃那些已经令你无语的旧伙伴，拥抱新的生活了。突然之间，生活似乎没有那么乏味了。
我想，这就是斯蒂芬•哈珀本周中国之行的所感所悟。他的中土之行的目的就是建立一个新的友谊，而且似乎颇有收效。现在可以公开宣布了：加拿大与中国是好朋友。
我们有石油，而中国需要石油。他们是假共产主义者，我们是假社会主义者。几乎是绝配。当然，人权依然是一个问题，但我们都是人，中国领导人把人民当作卑贱的农奴并不意味着我们无法友好相处。人嘛，都有缺点的。
仔细想想这件事，加拿大其实算是傍上了大款。中国的超级富豪和十亿人民军队或许有一天将会统治世界，那么作为它最亲密的朋友，他们或许可以让我们当个副总舵主什么的。
而且，他们还借给我们几只大熊猫，简直太慷慨了。
把我们的新朋友和老朋友做比较，它的确出类拔萃吗？或许吧，但是如果我们的老朋友因为我们结识了新朋友就不搭理我们了，那么他们根本就不是我们真正的朋友。
先看看隔壁的家伙——美国。他喜欢开派对，热衷体育运动，尽管他声称不玩曲棍球（你要是不喜欢我们的民族体育项目，干脆直接告诉我）。他和我们一样信奉言论自由，不能容忍世界上的怪人和暴君。他家里有成堆的好玩意，当他邀请我们去看他的新iPhone，我们都兴奋坏了，他甚至让我们拿在手里玩几分钟。他长得又高又壮，这其实是件好事，因为加拿大基本上经不起任何人的挑衅。
但是，他的确有些霸道，还喜欢唠叨。他完全以自己为中心，似乎除了SCTV重播的电视节目和贾斯汀•比伯的歌曲，他对我们一无所知。他最先考虑到的总是自己，当我们需要一条输油管道的时候，他表现得很激动，因为担心这会影响到他的形象。如果他觉得自己比我们优秀，因为又壮又有钱，所有笨蛋国家都要仰视他，那就随他去吧。
接下来是欧洲——文化和美学的发源地，时尚和艺术的集中地。那里既耀眼又迷人，是仰慕人类成就的绝佳场所。欧洲是个好地方。
然而，老实讲，欧洲这帮人最近变得很讨厌。他们嘴里总是念叨有多么的穷，情绪有多么低落——不过，哥们，我们都遭遇了经济危机的打击。你们这帮欧洲人要想办法解决自己的问题，你们应该是一个组织严密的小团体，可我们听到的都是没完没了的争吵：谁为什么东西埋单；谁出资救援谁。
弟兄们，事情总会得到解决的，对吗？从欧洲历史发展规律来看，在拯救朋友和撕破脸之间的决策摇摆将会引发大规模、恐怖的战争，还有别的可能性吗？我用不了两分钟就思考出这样的结论，你们为什么要花那么长时间？
看看还有谁？
澳大利亚！天啊，我们太相似了——大片土地、友好的人民、可笑的口音。我们都假装尊敬女王，在私下却肆意取笑。我们是绝配。
我们其实不大擅于维护天各一方的长期关系。当然我们可以抽时间上Skype，但是这东西没有人的感情。而且我们又要上班又要照顾家庭，哪儿有那么多时间？
所以，美国自恋、欧洲无能，澳大利亚似乎远在另外一个星球。中国完全不是这样，它喜欢我们本来的样子，希望与我们深入交往，而且，它看起来彬彬有礼、举止得体。
是的，就像总理所说，我们终究会坐下来和中国讨论它那令人不齿的国民政策——但是现在，还是好好享受我们之间的友谊吧。
这是一段美好友情的开端。
原文：
Finding a new friend is one of life's great joys. The discovery of another human being with whom you share some combination of common cause, background, interests, ideals and beliefs is a special moment with obvious benefits -- now you can ditch your old pals, with whom you've exhausted all possibility of meaningful dialogue, in favour of a brand new model. All of a sudden, your social life just got a little less boring.
This, I imagine, is what Stephen Harper experienced this week in China. His trip to the Middle Kingdom was all about fostering a new friendship -- and it seems to have worked. Now it's official: Canada and China are friends.
We've got oil, and China wants it. They're fake-communists and we're fake-socialists. It's a near-perfect match. Well, except for the human rights thing -- but just because we treat each other like human beings and the Chinese leaders treat their citizens like lowly serfs doesn't mean we can't get along. Hey, nobody's perfect.
When you think about it, Canada's getting a pretty good new ally. China's super-rich and with its billion-person army will probably rule the world someday soon. As its newest, bestest friend, maybe they'll let us be be vice-overlords or something.
Plus they're loaning us a bunch of their pandas, which is super-nice of them.
Is it petty to compare our newest friend to the rest of our crew? Maybe. But if our other friends won't accept us for who we are, maybe they're not such good friends after all.
Let's start with the kid next door, America. He likes to party, is into sports -- even if he claims to not "get" hockey (if you don't like our national sport, just tell us) -- and generally shares our belief in free speech and not tolerating the world's weirdos and tyrants. Also, he has access to tons of cool stuff that we can't get yet: It's awesome when he invites us over to check out his new iPhone -- sometimes he even lets us play with it for a few minutes. He's big and strong, which is a good thing since Canada is basically defenceless if anybody ever decided to pick a fight with us.
But on the other hand, he does tend to get a bit bossy and preachy. Also, he's very self-centred -- it's as if he doesn't know anything about us beyond what he's gleaned from SCTV reruns and Justin Bieber songs. And he's always thinking about himself first -- when we needed an oil pipeline from him, he wigged out because he was worried about his own image. If he thinks he's so much better than us just because he's bigger and richer and loser countries look up to him, whatever.
Then there's Europe: It's the epicentre of culture and beauty -- the hub of fashion and art. It's glitzy and glamourous. It's the best place to go to admire human achievement. Europe is a good time.
To be honest, though, the Euro gang has been really annoying lately. All they talk about now is how poor they are. It's a major downer -- hey, man, we're all getting hit by the recession. You Europeans really need to get your life sorted out -- you're supposed to be a close-knit clique, instead all we hear is constant bickering over who's paying for what, who's bailing out who.
Guys, it all works out in the end, right? And, really, given the option between bailing out your buddies and busting up the crew, which based on pretty much all of European history will lead to another big, ugly war, is there really a choice? Took me two minutes to figure it out, why's it taking you so long?
Let's see, who else we got?
Australia! Man, we are so much alike -- big landmass, nice people, funny accent. We both pretend to care about the Queen, even though we snicker behind her back. It's a perfect match.
Except you live so far away, and we're not that good at maintaining long-distance relationships. Yes, we could make time to Skype, but it's just so impersonal. And what with work and family, who has the time?
So, America's narcissistic, Europe's clueless, and Australia might as well be on another planet. China, on the other hand, likes us for who we are and wants to get to know us better -- plus, he seems to be very courteous and well-mannered.
Yes, like the Prime Minister said, we'll definitely have to sit down and talk about the disgusting way he treats his own citizens -- but for right now let's just enjoy each other's good company.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2012-2-15 09:05
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发表于 2012-2-15 09:18
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