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Republicans in Hell
共和党人在地狱
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
有一天，一位共和党领导人走在街上的时候，不幸被一辆卡车撞翻在地。他的灵魂离开身体飘向天堂。在天堂的门口，他遇到了天使彼得。
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
“欢迎来到天堂，”彼得说：“在把你安顿下来之前，我有一个问题。我们很少接待政党的高级领导，我想你也知道，所以我们不太确定把你安顿在那里比较合适。”
"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
“没有什么问题，让我进去得了。”共和党人说。
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
“噢，我倒是无所谓，但是上司给我下过命令。我们必须让你在天堂和地狱各度过一天，然后由你自己决定永久性的留在那里。”
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
“真的，我现在已经打定主意了，我当然想去天堂。”共和党魁说。
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
“不好意思，我们有我们的规则。”彼得说，然后他把共和党人带到“电梯”里。“电梯”向下、向下、向下......就来到了地狱。门打开了，共和党人发现他站在一片绿油油的高尔夫球场的中央。不远处是一个俱乐部，前面站着一排人，都是他的老朋友和以前的同事，每个人脸上都挂着笑容，穿着十分考究。他们欢呼着跑向他，拥抱他，和他一起回忆以前那些用别人的汗水一步步致富的美好日子。他们还举行了一场高尔夫友谊赛，然后享用龙虾和鱼子酱的正餐。魔王也出席了（也是一个共和党人），这家伙真是一个非常友好的人，谈吐幽默，跳的一身好舞。
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
他们度过了如此美好的一天，不知不觉，时间就到了。每个人给了他一个深情的拥抱，当“电梯”启动上升的时候，还不停的挥手向他致意。“电梯”上升、上升、上升......就来到了天堂，门打开了，彼得就等在门口。
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“现在到了参观天堂的时间了。”于是，接下来的24小时里，共和党魁加入了一群心满意足的灵魂，从这朵云彩飘到那朵云彩，弹奏着竖琴，唱着歌。他们也度过了美好的一天，不知不觉24小时到了。彼得再次出现。
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
“好了，现在，你已经在天堂和地狱各度过了一天，你可以做最终的选择了。”
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
他考虑了一分钟，然后做了决定：“嗯，不用再考虑了，天堂虽然很不错，但是我觉得我更愿意生活在地狱。”
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
于是彼得再次把他带到“电梯”里。“电梯”向下、向下、向下......又来到了地狱。门开了，他站在一片满是污水和垃圾的荒地上。他看见他所有的朋友都穿着破衣褴衫，步履蹒跚，捡垃圾。魔王出现在共和党魁面前，用一只手卡在他的脖子上。
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
“我不明白，”共和党魁结结巴巴的说：“昨天我在这里，这里有一个高尔夫球场和俱乐部，我们吃着龙虾和鱼子酱，举行舞会，度过了非常美好的时光。但是现在，为什么这里变成了垃圾场，我的朋友们看起来这么惨？”
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
魔王看着他，笑了笑，说：“昨天我们在竞选，今天你已经投我们的票了！”
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有趣儿, 笑话, 英文, 有趣儿, 笑话, 英文, 有趣儿, 笑话, 英文, 译文, 配音
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-16 00:00
提升卡
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楼主
发表于 2009-4-16 02:13
