【卫报】Can you top the tale of malted mouse?

magicboy

Can you top the tale of malted mouse?
The poor man who found some vomit-inducing vermin in his teatime treat is quite a shocker, reminding us about the legendary chicken-head. What other horrific stories of foreign bodies in familiar foods can you bring to the table?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/jun/10/dead-mouse-malt-loaf-court?commentpage=2

Anyone for a deep-fried McChicken head? Photograph: Sangjib Min/AP


Picture the scene. Ballymoney, a small town in County Antrim, a short time before Christmas. A man, perhaps weary from shopping, caught in the December rain, sick and tired of the seasonal preparations, returns home from a freezing cold walk to the local supermarket, with a treat in store.

Maybe he puts the kettle on, makes a strong brew, stretches up for a side plate. He checks the butter, it's creamy and yellow, pleasingly soft and will spread easily.

Everything in place, he sits down to the break he's been looking forward to with every dreary sodding step home. The anticipation mounting, he unwraps the malt loaf, the one with raisins, his favourite treat – a slice of sweet chewy happiness. He is faced with the picture you see in this link here.

It doesn't actually look real does it? So shockingly, perfectly, preserved is this rodent, it looks like it's hiding out in there, on a cartoon run from Tom. But it is indeed real, as the makers of the loaf, D Hyndman and Son Ltd, found to their cost in a courtroom today – they were fined £1,000, plus costs for placing unsafe food on the market.

A defence lawyer for the company, peddling an excellent line in understatement, described the presence of the mouse as a "shock to the company", which has apparently traded for some 60 years with no other instances of whole-mouse-added malt loaf. She also pointed out that, "In fairness to the defendant they have engaged pest control services, who regularly inspect the premises and did so before this incident."

There's no details about the victims in this story. It doesn't look, from the picture, like the poor mouse had a nibble of the malted loaf before his (I like to think it's a male mouse, I don't know why) untimely despatch. Perhaps he preferred Soreen?

And not a word about whether the poor man who almost ate malted mouse got any compensation. Are you out there? Please come and relive the moment for us if you are.
Indeed, it's a sad tale for all concerned, and one which has sparked a bunch of frightening tales around me – the most horrible of which is the office worker who found a (still wrapped) condom in the sushi box of a well known sandwich chain. She had the MD on the phone the next day apologising profusely, but no compensation was forthcoming. There is the much-publicised example of the moth-flavoured pizza and, not forgetting McDonald's equally delightful deep-fried chicken head, (not, apparently, an urban legend) reproduced for your delectation above. Mind you, most of us here on WoM probably wouldn't bat an eyelid at eating that.

I haven't ever been the victim of food horror, but one of my most cherished childhood memories was when I was given a box of Maltesers, a few of which had melted together (I was a bit of a weird child). Excitedly, I wrote to the company claiming the whole box, a gift, had arrived as a molten mess and ruined my birthday. I got six boxes sent back to me. A proud moment.

There must be more of you out there with better tales to tell.

magicboy